Squirrel Chasing 101A - Outside Squirrels

OK efurrybody take your seats...it's time to begin. This is Squirrel Chasing 101. Is everyone in the right class???

Efurrybody settle down and let's get started!!

Frankie, no passing love notes to Ruby and Penny!! 

Benny and Lily...am I going to have to separate you two...No arguing in class.

Today's class is on outside squirrel chasing. Where we will concentrate on the art and skill of being able to chase and tree a squirrel and maybe, JUST MAYBE, one day you will catch one!!

Unfortunately, I can't help you with the catching part. We Dogkateers have never caught a squirrel,  

This jumping has helped Jakey come pretty close once or twice. But they always seem to outrun us! Has anyone in the class ever caught a squirrel?? If you have, please share with the class what you have done with it.

*crickets chirping*

Well if somefurry has caught a squirrel, and hasn't stopped by yet, please let us know in the comments what you did with it.

Now, on to the good stuff!! Now who knows who the leader of the AWOS is?? Lightning, do you know??  No???? Maybe if you ask Thunder very nicely he will tell you.

Mr. Hawtness himself (doesn't he look HAWT, HAWT, HAWT in his tux...*swooooon*) has written an expert testimonial on his most favorite way to chase squirrels.  I have learned everything I know from Tank and will demonstrate the key points after I read his testimonial!

Tank's Testimonial, as read by Dory:

"Dory asked me if I would share my favorite way to chase squirrels with you. I said yes because I think she's hawt. (REALLY, he SAID THAT!!! *more swooons*)

Fortified with my (meager) breakfast rations, I head down to the creek just beyond my backyard and find a nice shady spot to lie down. Then, I wait. It usually doesn't take very long to spot a squirrel. I stare at him and he stares back. His beady rodent eyes beckon me to give chase, but I hold back. I want him to feel cocky because that's when a squirrel will make mistakes. Ever so slowly, I stand up. Our eyes are still locked and I can tell he's full of bravado. I remain perfectly still lulling him into a false sense of security. Within a few more minutes, he no doubt will be mocking me. I'm patient. I wait some more. It takes years of experience to know when the time is right to commence chasing, but I can tell you this much... if the squirrel begins to throw nuts at you, you've waited too long.

I decide that it's time to make my move and spring into action going from zero to top squirrel chasing speed in seconds. The squirrel is totally shocked and shifts from cocky to distressed just as fast. Within inches of being captured, instinct kicks in and the varmint takes off running. I continue to give chase while barking things at him like "Yo rat breath, Mama's loadin' up the shotgun!"

At this point, the squirrel has lost all confidence. He's scared and thinks this might be the end of the line. He has no choice but to scamper up a tall, leafy tree in hasty retreat. Well aware this is a cowardly thing to do, his will to survive supersedes any desire he might have for a fair fight. I sit at the base of the tree for awhile looking up at him. I bark a few HBO words and let him know I'm disgusted with his wimpy behavior. He feels defeated and embarrassed.

Life is good.

Respectfully submitted,
Cmdr. Tank, OWAS, Ret. "

Isn't he the COOLEST squirrel hunter EVER!!?? I'm so glad I am not a squirrel in his domain!

If you liked his speech make sure click here (or you can click on his picture) and let him know. I'm sure he would accept any kibbles you could send(word on the street is that he doesn't get enough noms).

Now let's highlight the key points of his speech and, in my opinion, the most important things to do when chasing squirrels.

Before you choose a spot,  you may want to survey your backyard and see if you can snoofle out where a squirrel may be.

 

1-Be P-A-T-I-E-N-T - I know that is a HORRIBLE word, but it is VERY important to LET the tree rat THINK he has the upper hand.

 

2-Wait for the right moment....ths might take a while, so if it is too hot outside and you have a doggie door and window that looks out into the backyard you may want to stay in the cool A/C while stalking the tree rat!

 

 

3-Then RUN LIKE THE WIND....tear out the doggie door, or from whatever spot you are lying and GET THE SQUIRREL!!!!

4-If you catch him....welllllll let us know if you catch him and we can deal with that when it happens....

5-Chances are you will chase him up a tree like Tank did (and Jakey and I do). If this is the case sit under the tree, or even better stand with your front paws against the tree and bark HBO words like Tank did and let him know what a chicken he is not to fight you face to face!!

Now...any questions??? Just ask them in the comments and I will try to get to them before class tomorrow morning!!

Now you are certified in Outside Squirrel Chasing for Beginners, here is a badge you can proudly display if you would like! 

You were all pawesome students!! Yes, even you Ms. Lilac...I admire your attitude, we are so sorry you didn't have your own fan for the class...we will make sure we have it for you tomorrow!!

....Speaking of tomorrow, we will be learning how to chase squirrels inside. City furries need a way to get their frustrations out. I know I  if something like THIS happened to me everyday and I had no way to let my frustrations out I would be tempted to run outside and might get hurt: